just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
