I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
