guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
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