if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize