i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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