$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize
