The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I have fence marks all over my body
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
