Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
So squirting runs in the family.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Randomize