Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize
