Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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