We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
NoShamevember. You game?
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
