i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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