me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
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