He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
