I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
