The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
