Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
