we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
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You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
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Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
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