The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
