Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
as a side note pls kill me
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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