Buhtt sex?
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I'm like, not good at living.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
