just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
