My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
