I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Randomize
