smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
My vagina is very pro this idea
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
