I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
