This is not my ceiling
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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