ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
