We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
We were destined to go to rehab together
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
