I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
