there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I FOUND THE LEGS
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