Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
