New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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