You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
