that's an acceptable place to lick
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Randomize
