What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
