toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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