I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
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I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
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some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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