How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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