So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
