he puts the penis in happiness.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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