I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize