Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
