do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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