i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
