Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
