Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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