have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
