So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
