Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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