party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
