But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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