when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
