We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Naked Twister starts at high noon
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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