I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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