She said her name was "party"
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
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