they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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