it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
